Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
