i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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