She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
