That's intense
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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