btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
