we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
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Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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