i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
