Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
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