gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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