It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
