I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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