Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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