Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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