New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
