Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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