His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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