He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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