I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize