Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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