UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
