Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I've blown a few things in my day
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I should be sponsored by Trojan
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He uses pillows to masturbate.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
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