im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
they need to just BURY HIM!
smell my finger.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
