Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
