they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
