people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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