What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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