I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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