okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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