I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
