It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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