Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
