are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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