my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
