is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
