If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm always down for nudity.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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