So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
