Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
