the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
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they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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