If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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