this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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