Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
send nudes
from the living room?
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