At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
