make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
