All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
