I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
