just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
