I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ladies don't puke and tell
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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