Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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