she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
