is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
