She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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