just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
