shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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