sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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