I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
