I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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