HIV tests are more positive than that guy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
