...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
