Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Please, let me fuck your mom
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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