it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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