I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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