You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
