carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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