Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
