after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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