Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
