My first STD was from a foam party
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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